I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
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