When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
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