Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
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