first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
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someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
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My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
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