Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
