I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize