I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
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