But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
You ruined the universe
You are a genius and a whore.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
