My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
