Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
