he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Randomize
