I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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