No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
