Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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