Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
