the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
