I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
