i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Randomize
