Please don't use social media to get back at me.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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