dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
No more Irish car bombs ever.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
The Olympian is in my bed
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
