my sisters under your porch take her home
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize