I look better un-naked...
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
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