I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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