Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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