Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
