is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
