i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
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