I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
