i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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