im about as happy as oj after his trial
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
