Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
