I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize