dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Randomize
