Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
