I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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