dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
