So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
