I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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