Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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