if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
