you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
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