TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Randomize
