How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
