My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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