I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
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