I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
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