Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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