drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
