Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
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