Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I need to align my fucking chakras
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
