2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
