i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize