she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
