franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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