sorry about calling you the devil all night.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
