just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
It was like getting head from an anaconda
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Randomize
