I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
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